Secondary Infertility & the IVF Debate

 

Last week, I had an appointment with our Reproductive Endocrinologist. It was my final appointment before we have to decide whether or not we want to commit to trying IVF. At our next appointment in a couple weeks, all the money is due and the process will officially begin, and after looking at the calendar that the nurse typed up for me, it's going to go fast.

My brain has been spinning ever since that appointment. I want another baby more than I can explain, but there is an internal debate going on inside me that I can't shake. I struggle between "Let's do this! We could be easily be having another baby in 2017!" and "I can't do this...the money and bodily sacrifice are just too much."

Brian has been the biggest support. He is 100% for trying the IVF out, and continually assures me that I can do this, and that we will figure out the money, because it can't even compare to the joy that expanding our family will bring us. I love my "glass half full" husband, sometimes I wish I could adopt his laid-back way, but I can't help but think of all the "What if's...". 

What if we spend all that money and it doesn't work? What if my body has a horrible reaction to the meds and I can't care for Baylee the way I normally do? What if it does work and now we've added new bills plus another mouth to feed? There is just so much to think about that no one prepares you for. And, as ridiculous as it might sound, my struggle over "the unfairness of it all" isn't helping my situation. It's really hard to accept going through all of this when I know that we have done it naturally on our own once even with all of the odds against us. Oh, baby #2, why must you be so complicated, my love?

But that last sentence right there is why I am 96% sure I will go through with it. Just the thought of "baby #2" having an actual name and face makes it all worth sacrificing.

That being said, I have decided to not blog about the IVF experience until after we know for sure that we are pregnant. I know there are a lot of you in the same boat who were looking forward to reading about the process as we go along, but I thought long and hard about it, and I decided that I don't want to take away from the experience of the could-be pregnancy it's self. I want to be able to surprise my family, friends, and all my lovely readers with a classic pregnancy announcement when we are ready just like we would have with a natural conception. :)

Until then, please continue to pray for us! Your prayers mean so much, and help us more than you could ever know!

Also, if you would like to donate, every little bit helps and we appreciate all of you who have helped us so far! 

The link is here:

Tibbetts' IVF Fund 

Until next time! XoXoXo