The Tough Stuff

Thank goodness she's asleep.

I'm having one of those tough mommy days. You know the days where you question how you're ever going to make it for 16 (or however many left until they turn 18) more years? Yeah. One of those. 

Normally, I like to keep the blog as lighthearted about parenting as possible, because I absolutely know just how blessed I am to be a mother! But sometimes, for the sake of my sanity, I just have to vent about the tough stuff. There are crappy moments that happen that make the mom title kind of suck. Today, I just feel like my "crappy moments" capacity is overflowing. Mama needs a break.

This morning went great, but Miss Baylee and her listening problems started soon after breakfast. She's going through a phase of pushing the envelope to see what my reaction will be. If I ask her not to do something, she does it anyway, eyeing me all the while. If I ask her to do something I get a prompt "No!" as she books it into another room. It's so aggravating. I want to scream at her sometimes, but I have to remind myself that she's only two. A very smart and verbal two, but still only two. And the kid can have a mean crying fit. She doesn't really tantrum as far as the whole "kicking and screaming" bit, but she can make herself sob as if I just killed her puppy when in reality all I did was tell her that she couldn't have any candy. It's absolutely pathetic, and frustrates me to no end.  

After asking her multiple times to take her pajamas off so that we could go potty and get dressed for the day, (I know, I could do it for her and make it more simple for me, but I'm trying to teach her some independence.) she looked at me wide eyed and said "Oh! I have to go peepee!" and proceed to pee all over my kitchen floor. Mind you, this kid has been potty trained since October so accidents drive me crazy (Yes, I know they're normal and just part of the age, but it doesn't make it any less annoying and gross). I will never understand how she can hold it and tell me exactly when she needs to go all day at Disneyland, but when we are home she gets careless & has accidents. Given, they're only about once a week, if that, but still. Just tell me, kiddo! 

Once I cleaned up from the great pee escapade, we got ready & left to go run errands. I'm pretty sure I sounded like a broken record. "Baylee stop taking your shoes off." "Baylee don't touch that" "Baylee you need to listen to Mommy" "No baby we're not getting a pretzel today" "Baylee are you seriously licking the cart handle?!" This is about when my head ache began. 

After we got home, we relaxed for a bit & then I put her down for her nap. Or so I thought. Usually, she goes down without a fuss, but she's been fighting nap and bed time like crazy lately, sometimes taking up to an hour to finally go to sleep. She's exhausted (even started to nod off in the car before we made it home) so I don't even know how to begin to understand why she is fighting it. Once she's asleep, she sleeps like a rock, but getting her there has been a challenge lately. Today we struggled for a half hour, & I was in no mood. We were both in tears by the time she finally agreed to lay her head down and close her eyes so that she could finally fall asleep.

Seriously, is it wine'o'clock yet? 

It all sounds so freaking trivial, but in the moment it's absolutely exasperating. Here I am, giving my all to make sure this little girl has a great, happy, and healthy life, and what do I get in return? Pee. On the kitchen floor. 

She's fast asleep now, though, and truth be told, I miss her. Not enough to wake her up, ohhhh no, no, no! But enough to know that I can't wait to hear her say "Hi Mommy! I missed you!" when she wakes up on her own, & that we can still turn this day around and try again to make it a "good one". I know that this too shall pass, & one day she will be a big girl going to school, & I will miss her crazy toddler days.

 The days are long, but the years are short, after all! :)

Until next time! XoXoXo