If you have a “spirited child” you know exactly everything I’m about to say. The preschool age is hard no matter what, but a spirited child takes it to the next level. When Baylee first became a threenager I wrote this post talking about how rough things had suddenly become with her. A few months later, it dawned on me that she was no ordinary 3-year-old. She's as defiant as a 14-year-old and is completely fearless of consequences for misbehavior. I discussed her behavior with my mom who proceeded to tell me that my middle sister was the exact same way and that her preschool teacher referred to her as a “spirited child”. Yes! That was the exact way to describe Baylee!
A spirited child is not bad, in fact quite the opposite. They are good-hearted kids who just have major opinions and an eye for things being fair and in the order that they perceive to be correct. When things are going Baylee’s way and according to her norm (the biggest creature of habit it have ever met) she is the sweetest most compassionate kid around. She’s loving, playful and an absolute motor mouth who tells funny stories that go on forever. When something breaks her norm or doesn’t go according to the way she anticipated though, forget about it. She’s about to take the poor victim (usually me or Brian) on a roller coaster ride. She’s sassy, and knows just what to say to hurt feelings. She’s relentless and stubborn and won’t take “no” for an answer. (We have had a temper tantrum that lasted 90 minutes before...not exaggerating...)
It has honestly been so hard to learn how to keep my cool when punishing her. She makes me want to fly off the handle when she stamps her little foot and screams at me the way she wants things to go. And when she tells me that I’m the meanest mommy ever, I want to take every toy she owns and chuck it in the trash. She knows just how to make me feel terrible and unappreciated. I have to remind myself on the daily that she’s only been on this earth for 3.5 years, and she’s just very well spoken. And I have to learn her, I still have a lot to figure out, but it’s getting better.
So, here is what I have learned so far about parenting a spirited child:
1. Spirited children need consistency. It’s okay to break their norm when out and about, but at home or at school they need a schedule and to stick to it as much as possible. Baylee has a night time routine and if I do anything out of order or skip a step she is sure to remind me.
2. Spirited children like to know what’s coming next. You know what I’m talking about if you’ve ever had the “...and then what are we doing?” conversation with your child. When Baylee asks me exactly what we are doing all day long I have learned to just tell her. It makes her happier if she has an understanding of how her day is going to go.
3. Spirited children NEED to play. I am sooo very guilty of giving Baylee too much screen time since Natalie was born, but I am learning how to keep her entertained through play. She does so much better when we go to the park, play in the backyard, or when she just has time to play with her toys. Creative outlets make her a way happier kiddo.
4. Spirited children need one-on-one attention. When Natalie first came home from the hospital, Baylee was acting up like crazy. It didn’t take me long to realize that she was just trying to get my attention even if it was in a negative way. I have been learning to remember to give her some time every day for just us while her sister naps.
5. Spirited children need to be listened to. Baylee gets so frustrated if someone interrupts her or doesn't respond to her. I have learned to be patient and let her take her time to say what she needs to say, and if I can't respond to her right away, we are working on her having patience and waiting for her turn to speak.
In the end, having a spirited child can be very fun and entertaining. Baylee is so funny and can keep me laughing all day long with the things she comes up with. I love her to pieces and wouldn’t ever want her any other way! I know this kid's strong-will is going to take her far in life, I just have to survive her in the meantime. ;)
Until next time! XoXoXo
A spirited child is not bad, in fact quite the opposite. They are good-hearted kids who just have major opinions and an eye for things being fair and in the order that they perceive to be correct. When things are going Baylee’s way and according to her norm (the biggest creature of habit it have ever met) she is the sweetest most compassionate kid around. She’s loving, playful and an absolute motor mouth who tells funny stories that go on forever. When something breaks her norm or doesn’t go according to the way she anticipated though, forget about it. She’s about to take the poor victim (usually me or Brian) on a roller coaster ride. She’s sassy, and knows just what to say to hurt feelings. She’s relentless and stubborn and won’t take “no” for an answer. (We have had a temper tantrum that lasted 90 minutes before...not exaggerating...)
It has honestly been so hard to learn how to keep my cool when punishing her. She makes me want to fly off the handle when she stamps her little foot and screams at me the way she wants things to go. And when she tells me that I’m the meanest mommy ever, I want to take every toy she owns and chuck it in the trash. She knows just how to make me feel terrible and unappreciated. I have to remind myself on the daily that she’s only been on this earth for 3.5 years, and she’s just very well spoken. And I have to learn her, I still have a lot to figure out, but it’s getting better.
So, here is what I have learned so far about parenting a spirited child:
1. Spirited children need consistency. It’s okay to break their norm when out and about, but at home or at school they need a schedule and to stick to it as much as possible. Baylee has a night time routine and if I do anything out of order or skip a step she is sure to remind me.
2. Spirited children like to know what’s coming next. You know what I’m talking about if you’ve ever had the “...and then what are we doing?” conversation with your child. When Baylee asks me exactly what we are doing all day long I have learned to just tell her. It makes her happier if she has an understanding of how her day is going to go.
3. Spirited children NEED to play. I am sooo very guilty of giving Baylee too much screen time since Natalie was born, but I am learning how to keep her entertained through play. She does so much better when we go to the park, play in the backyard, or when she just has time to play with her toys. Creative outlets make her a way happier kiddo.
4. Spirited children need one-on-one attention. When Natalie first came home from the hospital, Baylee was acting up like crazy. It didn’t take me long to realize that she was just trying to get my attention even if it was in a negative way. I have been learning to remember to give her some time every day for just us while her sister naps.
5. Spirited children need to be listened to. Baylee gets so frustrated if someone interrupts her or doesn't respond to her. I have learned to be patient and let her take her time to say what she needs to say, and if I can't respond to her right away, we are working on her having patience and waiting for her turn to speak.
In the end, having a spirited child can be very fun and entertaining. Baylee is so funny and can keep me laughing all day long with the things she comes up with. I love her to pieces and wouldn’t ever want her any other way! I know this kid's strong-will is going to take her far in life, I just have to survive her in the meantime. ;)
Until next time! XoXoXo
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