When Baylee first turned two, I used to giggle at the "threenager" posts I saw on Pinterest and in my mommy Facebook groups. Surely there was no way that any age could be worse than the terrible twos? But like many things in my parenting adventure, I was wrong to think this, oh, so wrong. In comparison, two was safe, two was easy, three is a force to be reckoned with filled with sass and back talk.
Don't get me wrong, I love my crazy girl with every fiber of my being, but this new side of her has me wondering at times if the squishy baby pictures I have are actually the same child. :) One day she woke up full of opinions and defiance, and I just wasn't ready.
Three can catch you off guard, especially the first time your child yells "No, Mommy! I don't want to!" in your face, or in Baylee's case, says "Mommy, can you just leave me alone?!" (WTH? You're 3!) And your first thought will immediately be "What did I do wrong these past few years to make you act like a beast?!" Well, after talking to many mommy friends and staying up late googling "why won't my three year old behave", I have come to the conclusion that not only are we not alone in this, but it's completely natural.
That doesn't go to say that it shouldn't be corrected, however, and there are many creative ways to deal with this new form of toddler tornado. It's all just a matter of figuring out what your kiddo responds best to.
To be honest, Baylee's "threenagerness" came fast and hard. We changed her over to a big girl bed from her crib just before her 3rd birthday, and a lot of our problems so far have revolved around trying to get her to stay in her bed at her bedtime. We saw a whole other side of our sweet baby with her crying, screaming at us, and even kicking her wall! Once she finally submitted and went to sleep (usually 2 hours later) Brian and I would both flop in bed sighing and feeling defeated. We struggled like this for a few weeks, and after talking about it numerous times, we began to realize that by yelling at her and taking toys and privileges away right before bed we were just adding to her chaos. (And she started being really crabby from sleeping like crap...it was obviously not good for any of us.) So, that's when I started doing some research about how to get us functioning in a way more peaceful matter.
We tried the "no looking, no talking, just walk her back to bed" technique, but that quickly became a game to her. After the 11th time walking her back to her bed we realized this technique wasn't our winner. (But it apparently works for a lot of people!) The next day, I was inspired after realizing how easily I could get Baylee to listen if there was a "goal" at the end. ("Pick up your toys, and I'll let you watch a movie.") So, I talked to Brian about it and together we made a sticker chart for her. Every night that she stays in her bed without a fuss, she gets to put a sticker on her board. Once the whole board is full, then we will go to Toys'R'Us to pick out a new toy for her as her reward for finally learning to stay in her bed. It hasn't been a 100% change, and there are still nights that she gets no sticker, but in all the chart has made a huge difference in her behavior at night! All we have to do now is remind her "Don't you want to put a sticker on your board tomorrow?" and she usually starts to listen. In conclusion, my girl is all about positive reinforcement, so I'm trying hard to remember that in my daily parenting. :)
As far as the day-to-day goes, we are still learning how to best deal with this challenging age, but also taking time to enjoy it. The silly and fun moments outweigh the crazy outbursts 10 to 1 and for that I am grateful! Truthfully, as crazy as it can get sometimes, this is by far my favorite age yet. I love having conversations with my little girlfriend about all her likes and dislikes, and she loves telling me stories about her toys and the things they want to do. I enjoy her company and getting to know her little personality so much, and I wouldn't have it any other way!
That being said, is it true that 4 is a littler easier?! Haha.
Any advice for surviving the threenager?! ;)
Until next time! XoXoXo
Threenagers are no joke and definitely not for the faint of heart. There were times where I thought to myself...so who's in charge here really? Haha it is a phase though...for my first she settled down around 4. Our second is still going strong at 4 but she really is so caring and loving most of the time. And our third just turned 2 and he's the only boy so we'll have to wait and see.
ReplyDeleteHugs mama!
Amanda(allthatsdarling)
Thanks girl, that makes me feel so much better! Three has been so fun, but the attitude is killing me! Lol I look forward to seeing how things change as she continues the year! :)
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