I was really hoping I wouldn't have to write this third update (if you're behind, you can read my original post here), but alas, all upping my Clomid dose gave me was 3 more pounds of weight gain and a perfect 28 day cycle. This is great, considering it's been years since that has actually happened, but so frustrating that there was no baby as a result. I have finally hit my breaking point. I need to take a breather.
Am I throwing in the towel? No way! But my body needs a break. Being on Clomid has caused me to gain a lot of weight, and I need to lose it before I try again. The only other time I was this heavy was when I was pregnant, and it's making me feel sluggish and unhappy with myself. So, instead of focusing on trying to conceive, my focus for the next few months is going to be on losing the weight and keeping it off. I really think that in the long run it will not only help my health and well being, but it may actually help me conceive. When I conceived Baylee, I was in great shape because I had been "sweating for the wedding", so I'm sure that had a lot to do with why she was conceived so quickly. With that being said; I'm going to give it a shot!
Am I bummed? A little, but I'm trying to not let it get me down. When my period came this cycle, I had my day of hating the world and then I realized how dumb I was being. I have so much to look forward to this summer like Baylee turning 2, beach trips, Disney days, and a huge 21st birthday celebration for my sister in Las Vegas! How can I let myself be sad when I'm surrounded with so much happy? :)
The eating healthier started yesterday, but since I have a few reasons to cheat (My sis, Gina, is graduating from high school tomorrow! Woohoo!) I won't go hardcore until next week. Then it's on! Working out daily, protein shakes, and detoxing are going to be my life for at least the next month or so, so I apologize to my friends and family if I'm no fun! ;) This is important to me, though, so I have to let it take precedence; even though I'm going to miss ice cream sooooo bad!
Thank you again for all your support everyone! On top of getting healthier, I am very curious to see what my body does on its own after three rounds of Clomid. Who knows? Maybe I'll get lucky? :) For now, I'm just going to focus on being an already blessed mama to this big girl of mine, and teach her that when life doesn't go your way, you just smile and make protein pancakes!
Until next time! XoXoXo
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