I did one more cycle of Clomid in August and it about broke me. It was, by far, the most torturous cycle to date based on my physical symptoms, and the way it made me feel like the walls were closing in all the time. Once I found out the cycle was over and that it once again hadn't worked for the 5th time, I threw out the bottle with the last refill # on it. My body is so very done.
So, I paid a visit to my OBGYN, who basically has now signed me off and wants me to pick a reproductive endocrinologist (a.k.a. fertility doc) to continue my care with. I held on to the list she gave me for days unsure of what to do. I really want another baby so bad, but I'm not sure if I want to go through more poking and prodding and drugs that my body hates me for taking. In the end, I decided to take a cycle off of everything and just see what my body did on its own.
And you know what? I had a 29 day cycle all on my own! I didn't get pregnant, but it was a sign to me that I got pregnant once naturally and I know I can do it again. I just need to get my shit together! So, I did a little research on reversing infertility holistically, and while some of it is a little over the top for me, a lot of it makes so much sense. One of the books I read made a great point that by taking fertility drugs, we are basically ignoring our own bodies. Infertility is always caused by something more than just a faulty reproductive system, and if all your systems aren't happy and healthy and ready to house and nourish a baby, then a pregnancy can't and won't happen.
I really don't know why I never thought of it that way before, but for the first time in about 20 months, I am completely at peace with my decision. I am going to get healthy, heal my body, and do this on my own. I got this.
Step one, I am reclaiming my fertility. I am not going to accept that I am a secondary infertility sufferer any longer. I am fertile, I just need to ready my body for one great big job.
Step two is the hard part. I've got to get healthy, and I've got to stick to it. My weight has been yo-yo-ing ever since I was pregnant with Baylee, and I never really lost all the baby weight. I know they say the last 10 pounds are the hardest, but it's really no joke. I'm determined to lose that weight and keep it off. I'm alsot setting these goals for myself:
1. Eat clean & healthy as much as possible.
2. Exercise every single day.
3. Lay off the junk food, alcohol and caffeine.
4. Start taking more vitamins & supplements.
I know it sounds so simple, but all those things are quite a challenge for me and my ice cream, coffee, junk food loving self. It probably won't go perfectly, but with all your help and support I know I can make it happen to the best of my abilities! And if you have any advice I would love to read it in the blog comments! You all have been the best support system I could ever ask for. :)
Also, if you want me to post a more in-depth description of my plans to reclaim my fertility and get healthy, let me know and I would be more than happy to get something up soon!
Until next time! XoXoXo
Ashlee,
ReplyDeleteI went through the same thing when I tried to get pregnant for the first time. I was diagnosed with PCOS and then started taking clomid and progesterone with no luck and all the nasty side effects. Then I started metformin because I had read that alot of women with PCOS had good results with getting pregnant while taking it. After 9 months of no success I knew my body needed a break. I went off everything except the metformin. I then started using essential oils and supplements from Fairhaven, specifically Fertilaid and Ovaboost. This was in May of 2014, the first month that I had a menstrual cycle all on my own. I kept doing the oils and supplements, combined with clean eating, exercise, and getting rid of all house hold cleaning chemicals. Three months later in August 2014 I found out I was pregnant, which means I conceived in July. Amd thats why we didnt wait to get pregnant again, because i didnt think i could do that all over again. Sure enough, I conceived Sawyer when Charlotte was only 4 months old. Many thought i was crazy, but not many knew what we had been through before. I truly believe that you can do this on your own without spending the enormous amount of money on IVF. Please let me know if you would like more information on my infertility regiment and all the natural things I used to get pregnant.
Wow that is so good to know that you made that all happen for yourself! And yes I would love to know what oils you used, and I will definitely look in to those Fairhaven supplements! :) Thanks so much girl!
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